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Advice On Internet Personals


"I was skeptical about online personals site, but you folks have proven me wrong, I've met the most incredible man, Steve from your site. Thanks, Dreampal", Rachel

Ad Writing Tips

Know Your Audience.

When writing your ad, you should keep in mind that men and women respond differently to personal ads. Men respond to personal ads more than women. Therefore, an ad from a woman receives more responses than an ad from a man

According to our own statistical analysis as well as a study done at Northwestern University, we have found a few trends that bear paying attention to when writing your ad.


First, men are much less selective when responding to ads than women. If a male browses 10 ads he wants to respond to, and probably sends a message for all 10, hoping for a good percentage of email backs. Men play the odds. They feel that the more ads they respond to increases their chances of getting a response back.

Also, men tend to be more inclusive. If an ad says that a woman is looking for a gentleman in his thirties, a man who is 42 but considers himself to look and feel like a thirty year old will respond.

Therefore, women can and should be more specific when writing their ads. It pays to be as descriptive as possible. The more specific you are about who you are and the person you'd like to meet, the better quality the responses you'll get.


Women, on the other hand, are much more selective and exclusive. If a female browses 10 ads, she is more likely to send a message for 5 or 6 of them.

If a woman reads an ad that says the man is looking for a "cute, petite, shapely, young looking, thin, etc., type lady," he is likely to not get many responses -- if any.

A woman might reject a guy just because he says he prefers blondes, thinking what he is really saying is that if you're not blonde, forget it. Men should be a little less specific when describing their preferences. One wrong word and you may be out of the running. Remember though, to always be honest!

Understanding how women perceive themselves and knowing what "red flag" words not to say will go a long way in getting a better response from women. Don't focus on physical attributes. Avoid these bad words: slim, shapely, etc.

Mr. "Wrong"
GOOD LOOKING-FIT SWM, 6'1", 175 lbs., 30, sexy, fun, great sense of humor, enjoys reading, running, dining out, movies, not into bars, drugs or big egos, seeks attractive/cute, curvy, slender SWF who is independent, loving, emotionally available and with a positive attitude. NS. Take a risk and write me.

Mr. "Right"
TRUSTWORTHY SWM 35 6', 190, blonde/blue eyes, clean cut, NS, good shape, love kids, outdoors, camping, sports; good sense of humor, movies, quiet times at home, old fashioned values; loving, caring, affectionate, seeks honest, long term relationship. No games please.

Be creative...

SWF SEEKS MALE LEAD for real-life drama/comedy; must play opposite 5'9" slim, 29 year old West Coast type. Scenes include beach-going, dancing, antique-hunting and drives to the coast. Practice your lines and write me.

Show your personality!

LIFE IN HELL. Wanda seeks Binky. SWF, 30, intelligent, funny, earthy, cynical as hell. Into anything outdoors (hiking, biking...) film, music, reading, conversation, seeks SWF 20s-30s who's intelligent, attractive & active for adventures before dentures.

The Basics of Ad Writing

Capture Attention.
Use a Catchy headline---a catchy headline will make your ad stand out. Be bold, creative, whimsical, passionate or humorous to catch their eye. "Ravishing Redhead" or a "Radiant Blonde" has more impact than "Attractive Female."

Describe Yourself.
Who are you? First, start with some of the basic descriptions such as what you look like, marital status (single, divorced or widowed), sex, age and -- if important -- ethnic or religious background. Include aspects you feel are important. Keep it short. Don't waste your time telling your life story. No one reads an endless ad. You'll have time to elaborate in your email exchanges. Stick to the basics and leave a little something to the imagination... but not too much.

Describe who you want to meet.
Make sure to list the ideal age range, education, etc... of your potential mate. Also, describe what you like to do. What are your hobbies and interests? What are your political, religious, social or moral values? If any of these are important to you, mention them in your ad.

Describe what you like to do.
Be specific. Don't be generic or vague. Avoid cliches like "fun-loving" or "long walks on the beach." Who doesn't like long walks on the beach? What kind of museums or music do you like? What type of sports, radio stations, restaurants, food, plays, movies, directors, TV shows, nightclubs or other activities do you like? And, if you really do like long walks, what beach do you like to walk? Also, if you're adamant about certain issues like smoking, pets, or children you should mention it.

Describe some of the things you'd like to do together.
What are some of the activities you would like to share with a potential mate.? Are you athletic? Do you run? Play tennis? Racquetball? Do you like to listen to live music or go to the opera? Remember, it's easier to envision be with someone if you can envision the things you'll do with them.

Show your personality and sense of humor.
Be creative. Develop a selling point. If you have a good sense of humor, don't just say so, prove it! Most of all, make sure the ad reflects your personality.

Be honest!
There's a common misconception that all those ads in the personals aren't true, or worse, that they're all made up. Not true! The people who have the most success through the personals are people who are sincere about who they are and what their intentions are from the start. If you are sincere about meeting someone, it won't do you any good to mislead people by falsely representing yourself. Create an ad that will encourage the right people to respond - people who you want to meet.

Capture attention.
Last, but not least, capture the attention of your reader. Try to make the first phrase of your ad the most interesting and memorable. In doing so, you'll make your ad easier to find when the reader is deciding to which ad he/she will respond.
A picture speaks a thousand words. Let's face it, appearances are important. If people can find out that they are or aren't attracted to you sooner rather than later, it is a plus. We've made it easy for you to attach the photo in your ad, simply follow the upload photo link in the members site.

Ok, let's recap:

  • Capture attention.
  • Describe yourself.
  • Describe who you want to meet.
  • What do you like to do?
  • What would you like to do together?
  • Show your personality and sense of humor.
  • Be honest!

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