The list in her Slanted handwriting

"She was in the kitchen writing a list. Her handwriting, the slanted kind, blue pen. I stood in the doorway and just watched her hand move. I knew she was dead. In the dream I knew. But she was also there, and I decided not to bring it up, because what's the point. She asked me if I needed anything from the store. I said "no" and then immediately said "actually, coffee." She wrote it down. She spelled it wrong, like she always did, and I didn't correct her. Then she was gone and the list was on the counter. I picked it up and her handwriting was just lines. Straight lines. Nothing. I looked for her in the living room and she wasn't there and I wasn't upset. Just walking through rooms. Then I was sitting on the floor in the hallway and the list was in my hand again and I was reading it over and over. I woke up and it was 4am and my face was wet. Lay there. Didn't try to go back. Got up and made coffee, spelled it right, and it didn't matter."