The Ex in the old House

"I was back in our old house, or a version of it, with the same rooms but a strange, hazy light. My ex-husband was standing there, and I remembered everything. Our divorce had been nasty and volatile, and it was over so quickly. He said he wanted out and walked away, we didn't speak until the next time I saw him, and I signed the entire divorce in one sitting. Then I never saw him again. That was over four years ago. He did some truly terrible things to me, and I genuinely hate him for them. Since then, I had found something I never thought I would find again. For three years, I had been with my boyfriend, and I loved him with my whole body. I felt this might be the one. But he was out of the country for work for two months, and the distance had been hard on both of us. Now, in the dream, my ex looked at me the way he never did when it mattered. He told me he missed me. He said he wanted to make things right and come home. I answered without hesitation. "I miss you too," I said. "We can work on things." The words came easily, as if they belonged to someone else, someone who had forgotten everything. Then I woke up. My heart was heavy and my mind was tangled. I lay there thinking of the man I truly love, far away, and wondering why my sleeping mind kept returning to a man I don't want. I felt unsettled and puzzled, and a little guilty, even though I knew none of it was real."